Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids by Leanne Shirtliffe

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Read Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids Online Free - "Leanne Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the trials and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!" —Elizabeth Boyle, New York Times best-selling author


As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.

In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:

•The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.
•The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks.
•The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie."
•The horror of glitter.
And much more!

A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college, eh, therapy fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

Title : Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 1620875268
Edition Language : English
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 272 pages


Emma Sea rated it ★★☆☆☆

September 05, 2014

A mildly humorous look at highly-privileged child rearing. I didn't connect at all with the pregnancy and babyhood sections, but enjoyed it more once Vivian and Will were small human beings. 2.5 stars

Renee rated it ★★★★☆

May 04, 2013

As a long time follower of Leanne's blog (, I read the PDF version of this book. All I can say is it is just absolutely Leanne at her finest. As the mother to one son, I have always marveled at people with multiples and wonder how they do it. Now I know. They HAVE to have a sense o...

Nicole rated it ★☆☆☆☆

June 30, 2013

This could have been funny, but it just wasn't. Okay, so it could have been a memoir about raising twins. That's hard, right? Especially if you live in a foreign country thousands of miles from family, right ? Well, not if you have a nanny, a maid who cooks and cleans, a driver, and a husband who...

Catherine rated it ★★★★★

May 07, 2013

I finished the book this morning, and I couldn't stop laughing at some points, best exercise read in a long time. Leanne Shirtliffe completely captures what it is like to be a parent of twins in Don't Lick the Minivan . As she struggled with delayed postpartum depression, she was able to come th...

Aimee rated it ★★★★★

April 04, 2014

I adored this book. Full disclosure: I had the fantastic experience of being a student of Ms. Shirtliffe's for two years. I am not currently her student, so there's no extra credit attached for being nice. Reading a book about someone that you are so familiar with is a unique experience, and I fo...

Carrie rated it ★★★★☆

May 03, 2013

This was such a great read for moms who love to laugh. I was lucky to get my hands on it early. Great Mother's Day gift.

Faith rated it ★★★★☆

May 07, 2013

After a rotten week, what could be better than the healing medicine of laughter? And so I am (lucky me!) reading an advance copy of Don't Lick the Minivan by Leanne Shirtliffe. Of all the nice things that have started to happen to me since I began blogging this is pretty way in front the nicest a...

Storywraps rated it ★★★★★

January 08, 2016

Leanne and her husband while living in Bangkok, Thailand find they are going to be the parents of twins. She manages to find so many ways to keep up her spirits while gestating two babes along the way. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap...

Leanne rated it ★★★★★

November 15, 2015

Well, I'm the author, so I should likely rate it 5 stars...

Danielle rated it ★★★☆☆

April 30, 2015

This was an easy and occasionally amusing read. The author's voice was just OK for me; I didn't find her hilarious, but she wasn't annoying, either. I actually enjoyed hearing about her experiences living in Thailand (and having her twins born there) more than I did the later parts of the book, b...

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